Heart on a Deathbed…

She says it was pure and pristine,
Exuded freshness and oozed life,
An erstwhile heart…

Lust for laurels, Craving for glory,
And thus preoccupied,
I do not remember when it died,

But today as I walk in its cortege,
To bid it a final goodbye,
I am wistful and recall…

How I turned so artificial,
Acquired a persona so superficial,
How my mind trampled a moaning heart,
Strangled it to death, with a smirk,
How I stifled emotions,
Lost in the labyrinth of the bestest,
How I fell a prey to the dreams I had weaved,
As they boomeranged on me nastily heaved,
How ambitions became obsession,
And thereafter fanaticism,

But today as I walk in its cortege,
To bid it a final goodbye,
I long to get it back to life,
I long to see it revive,
I do not know if I can,
For it has already died,
My deceased heart……

Desert Rose
10th October, 2008
Stockholm, Sweden

!!!Fake Identity!!!

Never had an opinion but opined,
Never had a goal but pursued,
Never had an interest but showed,
Never had a passion but feigned,
Never had a desire but desired,
Never had a wish but prayed,
Never had a choice but made,
Never had an aversion but loathed,
Never had a will but willed,
Never had a belief but believed,
Never had a character but assumed,

But now I realize I never had an entity,
It was nothing but a Fake Identity

For I inhibited the child in me,
For I yearned for the best in me,
For I mistook emulation as imitation,
For I forsook any interest, passion before maturation,
For I never tried to braze a trail,
For I deeply feared to fail,
For I never believed in myself,
For I solicited even unnecessary help,
For I never considered what I liked,
For I ever pursued what most people liked

This quest for the best has left me nowhere,
I do not know where I go from here,

Bcoz now I have realized I never had an entity,
It was nothing but a FAKED IDENTITY!!!!

Desert Rose
7th October, 2008
Stockholm, Sweden

Seedha Stockholm Se…

I have been reading articles and memoirs by exchange students about their experiences for two years now and all these years I was eagerly awaiting my chance. And, here I realize my wish today. Not that I am gloating or am being boastful but I consider it both a privilege and liability for everyone who has had a new experience- good or bad to share it with everyone else. This dissemination of first hand experience may take place in form of a private conversation or a public address however the most efficacious mode is a written document since it has a large audience base.

Without further ado, let me take you guys through a jaunt into Stockholm, its people, their traits et al. The time before and while onboard is in some ways not worthwhile mentioning. Subsequently, I reached Stockholm airport after a cascade of preliminary glitches which included luggage overly overweight, a strong likelihood of having to discard my racquet and a stern interrogation by the custom officials regarding the Swedish currency I was carrying. From a hurly-burly atmosphere of Delhi Airport to a serene and calm ambience of Stockholm Airport, it would have constituted a perfect contrast had the two scenes been juxtaposed adjacently. Anyway, it was a welcomed change for my mind if not heart for now it rested in peace after what seemed like an eternity of turmoil. With half-open eyes, both hands engaged dragging the luggage and metro tickets clamped between teeth, I made a picture-perfect sight of an over burdened tourist; nevertheless I somehow boarded the underground train. (called T Bana here) But no sooner did the train speed, I got an erratic jolt and although I reacted instantly by stretching my arm to grab one of the ceiling rods, I lost my balance but fortunately did not fall on anyone. Retrospectively, I realized that the average height of men in Sweden or even Europe at large is five inches more than our country and I had utterly misjudged the height of the support rod. I hardly got any time to regain my composure and a pleasant countenance before I alighted from the metro and stood on the left hand side of a seemingly endless escalator as they are like in most of the places here. I was gasping for some air as the metro had literally choked me till death and continues to choke me even now after spending over fifty days here, when I realized that people were staring at me as if I was an alien or a convict and thus inflicting a guilt on me which of course at that time I did not take. It was only later when it dawned on me that my mistake was not that I was standing on left and not right but that I had not gone through wikitravels which clearly says that in Stockholm, left side of the escalator is reserved for people walking up/down the stairs and those who breach this de facto rule are deemed as rustic or uninformed tourists. After the escalator episode, I somehow managed to drag my self and the luggage to a bus stop which was my penultimate destination. By then, I had virtually drained myself serving a porter to my own luggage and had already started cursing myself for the unwieldy luggage I chose to carry. The prospect of standing in the bus further aggravated my misery but then like an angel came a red buss (Swedish for bus) to revive me and I hurriedly boarded the bus and seated myself. While the bus was better than a DTDC bus in terms of the high-end technology it was equipped with such as automatic doors, buttons to request a stop, the DTC buses undoubtedly score over these buses in terms of the passengers they carry daily without any fatigue or failure. Finally, I was in my room (which is a little less than a three star hotel as far as the amenities and furnishing is concerned) after unlocking two electronic doors. Thereafter, I did things which are inconsequential to the context of this article.

One appreciates the meaning and relevance of the words elegance and grace better after witnessing the incomparable beauty Stockholm is blessed with. However, any description of its beauty would be an understatement owing to the fact that beauty is omnipresent here and so widespread that it is well possible that you saunter all around Stockholm for a year and you still miss what may be the most beautiful to your eyes and perception. It is located on the shores of Baltic Sea and comprises of some of the world’s most spectacular archipelagos. These small islands offer you an ideal picnic spot for a sunny and bright day and the water invites hordes of fishing freaks and enthusiasts to bait some preys. Sprawling on the lush green grass beside blue pristine water away from the hustle-bustle of the city and watching the sun set letting the city plunge into darkness is a treat to watch and a sight to behold. Apart from all these, Stockholm has a unique and quaint architecture. For those who love the skyscraper skyline, it will be a sheer disappointment but for people like me who are genuine admirers of picturesque architecture, it’s a paradise. The best part of the architecture here is that although it may appear old and ancient, it is modern in its own rights and is as invigorating, as mesmerizing every time you see it. Unlike most other parts of the world, the old city (called Gamlastan) here is untouched, preserved and well maintained to an extent that it is a hub of chic bars and restaurants and is tremendously flocked during weekends. Besides, Stockholm is a home to a plethora of historical monuments which include about 75 museums (called museet), world’s first open air museum (skansen), City hall where the dinner of Nobel laureates is hosted and a Castle. To sum up, Stockholm is a must visit for everyone and leaves indelible impressions and memories in the minds of everyone who comes here.

As I have a too observant character, I reckon I can give a judicious appraisal of the people and their lives here. The first thing which strikes my mind about Swedes is their warmth and hospitability. Just like other Europeans, Swedish people also exchange a lot of courtesies and pleasantries but are so obliging that many a times when I have lost my way; my co passenger has escorted me to either a familiar place or to my home. Having said that, most Swedes are individualists, uncommunicative and do not mingle with others easily but that is simply innocuous. Another remarkable feature of their character is that they do not posses a fake dignity as most of us do and see all kinds of work with equal respect. Hence, even I soaked in Swedish colours now; do all my household works ranging from cooking to washing my clothes and cleaning my toilet myself. Talking about the city life, it is very ordered and ideal here. The traffic is extremely smooth and surprisingly and contrary to India, the pedestrians are given precedence over vehicles and the cars really do stop to let you cross the road if you happen to be standing on the sides. Besides, the sizeable number of cycles running on their separate lanes gives you a glaring idea about the consciousness and concern of the people both for their and environment’s health. To add to all these, the society here is free from global evils such as crime and corruption and that makes Sweden even more prosperous and lively. But the only twist in the tail of this happy story is the rapid evacuation of your pocket which is even in the most conservative estimate four to five times faster than in India.

Thus, I can safely say that except for cooking, I am enjoying every aspect of my life here, learning a lot both academically and non-academically but still missing IIT and India.

Desert Rose
05th October, 2008
Stockholm, Sweden

Drowned in Disaster

I am sure that most of you readers, by now must have fathomed the insinuation that the title itself evokes. Yes, you are quite right in believing that the following write up is going to be a window into the unsettling, grim and catastrophic situation which has befallen Bihar recently and continues to torment her. The bandying around of Bihar Floods, the appropriate branding of the catastrophe as ‘National Calamity’ by our venerated Prime Minister and the footage it is receiving both in print as well as visual media might give you a first hand impression that the floods in Bihar are not frequent however the bitter truth remains that Bihar has been suffering from the fury of River Kosi perennially. Every year like an inevitable law of the nature, the northern part of Bihar comprising of 24 districts, home to 20 million people, is first inundated and eventually washed away by the rampant rage of Kosi. As a result, thousands of people die, millions become homeless and infrastructure worth billions is ruined. By the time people rehabilitate and overcome the trauma the next year, the floods come raging as their nemesis again. But then, the devastation this year is unprecedented in the last 50 years. It is estimated that approximately 2.5 million people have been rendered homeless, 100 people have already lost their lives and many are still to loose their lives due to the epidemic which will be ensued. (Data: courtesy of Relief and Rehabilitation Dept. Bihar) Although the Central and State Government may try to hide their ineptitude in dealing with the flood and try to assuage the calamity by sanctioning a 10 billion relief fund or deploying the army executing any other such hastily conceived relief plan or the film industry might come together to offer shows in order to raise money for the hapless destitute of Bihar or may be out of the blue a philanthropist may announce a handsome largesse for the cause but the loss will ever be irredeemable. It would take ages to heal the wounds the disaster has left behind and even more time for the state to resume to normalcy. Now a question would probably arise in all the inquisitive minds “Why does the flood occur every year in the first place and what steps does the government take to preclude it?” The answer lies below.

Northern Bihar is a playfield of eight main rivers including Kosi, Gandak etc. Most of these rivers have their catchment area and origin as well in Nepal. The Kosi River which can be primarily reproached for the deluge meanders all the way from the highlands in Nepal to lowlands in Bihar. As water flows from a region of highland to a region of lowland, whenever there is excess water in the river due to persistent rainfall, the flow of water increases manifolds and if the water is not checked in the highland that is Nepal, it brings disaster with it to Northern Bihar in the form of flood. After the cataclysmic flood of 1953, the Indian Government after a lot of deliberations came up with a Kosi Project wherein a barrage, a host of embankments and a dam was proposed to tame the ferocious river. Although, the first two parts of the plan were implemented successfully, the third part which would have played an instrumental role in taming the river was abandoned which was seemingly due to its cost ineffectiveness. Instead, the government resorted to the obsolete technology of building embankments to tame such a belligerent river as Kosi. Since then, a vicious circle of breach-disaster-repair has followed. The best solution here appears to be a possible construction of a dam and since both India and Nepal have been plagued by the rampage of Kosi, a dam construction in conjunction will be a win-win situation for both the nations. While the devastating floods will be kept at bay by the dam, the immense water flow can be harnessed for electricity production at the same time. Furthermore, the political climate in Nepal after the abdication of the King is too opportune to initiate a new constructive dialogue with Kathmandu on such a vital issue.

At last, I would appeal to each one of you to come forward and hold the hands of the calamity stricken people who are in a dire need of our support. Let us come together as a nation and stand by Bihar in this hour of need. I would strongly urge you all to donate as generously as you can so that all of us together can bail out all the needy people from the morass of helplessness and help Bihar overcome this tragedy soon.

Desert Rose
9th September, 2008
Stockholm, Sweden